It's been about a year since my last post. And that's not ironic that it coincides with a year since my daughter's birth. I've been a little busy to say the least. Plus our laptop went capoot...I didn't want to use my work one, and I just updated my phone so it's easier to keep up with the blog.
Since my little star turned one, and I've had time to reflect, I had to force myself to sit down and write.
There is SO much advice out there in the field of "babies". I'm not saying I'm an expert by any means. However, I do like to share what I've learned. For those of you who know me, you probably know how un-perfect I am in life. For those that don't know me well, believe me, "I ain't got it all together." I try. Some days (few days), I feel "together," but my life is busy, I'm not wealthy at all, I have a full time job on top of mothering, and I have many shortcomings. So when I seek advice, I like to seek it from someone real. I thought maybe you would too. Here's my list of top lessons I've learned in my first year of Motherhood that might be useful to others and hopefully to you...
1. Pray...a lot. Praise, too.
When your heart is so full of love you feel it could burst...praise and pray. When you're so tired, so frustrated, so worried, so confused, so (fill in the blank)....pray and still praise. God's got this. That's HIS baby first, and He actually loves him or her more than you ever could (wow!) so cry out to him and trust Him.
2. At least TRY to nurse your baby.
I know it's hard. I know that not everyone can. But you can try. Believe me, it was the hardest part of taking care of a baby for me. (Warning: I'm about to get very honest here.) It hurt. It was exhausting for a while. I cried so much over the frustration. I often felt like a failure in the beginning. It made things worse when the hospital nurses got frustrated with me and that not one of them was consistent with each other on technique. What helped? God. Time. My angels/ sisters-in-law that were patient with me and prayed with me and encouraged me through it. My tip: find one experienced person to be your supporter and coach. It really can help.
Plus, there are so many health benefits for your baby and for you (including weight loss). And it saves you so much money.
Again, it wasn't easy. I worked so hard at it. For 3 months, I nursed or pumped every 2 hours. I could only succeed in one nursing position. I couldn't figure it out with a cover, so I could never do it in public. I even pumped at work...in my classroom bathroom at lunch even (talk about multi-tasking!). But it did get easier. My schedule did ease up. And I was able to do it for 9 months. (I stopped when she kept biting.) So try it. And don't judge yourself or others if it doesn't work. Formula is NOT the end of the world.
3. Remember that you're a TEAM with the father.
I am blessed in this area because my husband is a great partner and father. I believe in God's idea of marriage, so I believe that we work together on every life decision and that he is the head of the house. But even if that's not your situation (and I know that it isn't for many women), I suggest trying to work as a team as much as possible. It doesn't mean the mother is always right, I've learned. There is compromise. But we talk about our baby together. We rotate "baby duty," and we try not to guilt trip each other when we mess up.
(Of course, if the father cannot or will not be in the picture, please don't feel bad. God is your helper. Rely on him and keep doing your best. You can do this.)
4. If you can, go cheap on items.
I know that sometimes quality demands the extra dollar. But if the product does the job and doesn't harm the child, I say go cheap. I purchased a lot of items used. Like, 98% of my items. And they've worked great. I bought the brand of diapers that were the cheapest...same with wipes, bottles, toys, and formula. I use my phone for access to free sleep music. I shop consignments and at the low-cost grocery stores. I don't have a big wallet at all, and I also don't get government assistance, so I'm frugal. But my daughter is healthy and happy. Save your dollars as much as you can.
5. Pinterest it up!
Or google it. I found the internet not so helpful for pregnancy advice; I found the doctor's advice was always best. But the internet was amazing for baby advice and ideas. Don't be ashamed to use things like pinterest...you're researching...and it helped me out a lot.
6. Don't obsess over a good schedule, but keep trying to make one.
It wasn't until my daughter was almost one that we set a real bedtime schedule. If I have another one, I'll probably try much sooner. It wasn't easy to establish, but it's so nice when it's established. It will change and get interrupted, so don't let it completely run your life. (For example, church is very important to us, so we interrupt the schedule for church. It doesn't ruin anything.) But it's important, and it's good for the baby and you.
7. Try making your own baby food.
News flash: It's a lot cheaper!
It's not hard either. I use fresh and frozen vegetables (again...I go with what's healthy but cheap), I purree, and I freeze. I make it once or twice a week in bulk and thaw it out when ready to use.
Plus, it is healthier (less chemicals), it smells better, it probably tastes better, and you don't have to watch for recalls because the company may have released harmful food.
8. Take lots of pictures.
Please don't spend all the time behind your phone or camera, but don't feel bad for marking great moments. I'm glad I did. One thing I bought was an app called Groovebook; you pay $2.99 a month to get 100 pictures in a cute photobook that's mailed to your place. (Yes, that price includes shipping.) This way I always had prints to keep, hang, and give to relatives. Treasure the moments!
9. Trust your kid's doctor.
First find a doctor or nurse practitioner that you love (and can afford) and trust them. The internet is great, but trust them first.
My daughter had to end up wearing a cranial helmet for 4 months. It was really hard believing that she needed it. They didn't force me at all, but they did point out the cosmetic problems she could have if it wasn't fixed now. I listened and went through with it. I'm so glad I did. After she had it removed, her doctor told me that some moms don't listen, and their babies' heads end up permanently miss shaped because they decide for themselves that it's not needed. You are the parent, the boss, and certainly not every doctor is golden, but listen to them.
10. Always be forgiving of yourself.
I've made mistakes and will make so much more. So will you. Forgive yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You're not super woman. The world DOES have a lot of ridiculous expectations for you. You can't...I can't...live up to them all. That's ok. That's why I restate myself when I say pray. Keep praying and keep trying. My kid doesn't always eat the healthy food...But I try. My house isn't always clean and organized...but I try. I'm not always a good example for my daughter...but I try. And I ask forgiveness. And I forgive myself as well. Be the parent God calls YOU to be. Nothing less. Nothing more.
That's what's in my heart today.
Be blessed.
