Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Rant from a 25 year old married woman





Ok, so this may be random, but after the last failed google search, I decided to write a rant.

First, let me start off with a warning: This is in no way meant to offend ANY parent. I love parents. I want to thank all parents out there for at least choosing life for your child and devoting your life to them. However, not all of us have that choice, and that's kind of what this is about....

There are hundreds, maybe even thousands, of free advice about how to have a great marriage, especially a Christian one. I am thankful yet overwhelmed with a wealth of information on that.

There are hundreds, maybe even thousands, of free advice about how to raise children and be a terrific wife/home maker. I like these articles, but again, it's not like I often find a "diamond in the rough."

There are also MANY, many, many articles and books and studies and posts for single Christians. Oh my goodness. Before I met my husband, I at least knew that there was a lot I could do with my life if I was single. (I'm glad I'm not, though, 'cuz I love being married.)

So, if you are married or having children, pick an article. Go ahead. It's not like you're limited on choices.

If you're not married, that's ok, for go ahead and pick an inspiring article or book that explains how God has a "better" plan for you, and some great things to focus on, and some great testimonies from amazing, single Christians.

....What about married people who can't have children?

There are hardly any articles, blogs, books, posts, and even fewer testimonies, of married couples who figured out how to be happy being infertile.

I've looked. There are a few books, and there's a few really sad websites that sympathizes with infertile parents, but they either end with, "Keep praying. It might happen eventually," or, "Here are some websites on how to adopt."

After searching and researching, I'm pretty sure that the overall Christian stand point on infertility is, "Just be sad....it''s ok to be sad about this. The end."

This frustrates me.

I'm not posting this because I'm infertile. I really don't what I am; I haven't had much time to know. However, I find it really sad that in the 21st century where there's a wealth of information for almost everything and every problem, there's not much for this. What if I can't have children? I don't want to live my life being sad, and adoption is REALLY hard to do!

I'm NOT getting tired of seeing baby and pregnancy posts. It's so great! It's so exciting!

I AM getting tired of moms acting like it's so easy. It's not, and when you act and talk like it is, 'cuz maybe it was for you, it's really annoying to women who don't have the choice to become moms.

Also, it's really annoying when moms give the advice, "It'll happen when you stop trying." Uh....who said I was "trying?" (And what the heck does that even mean?) I believe the answer to your question of when I'm having a kid was, "It's in God's hands and His timing." I did not want to start an intimate conversation about my married life, and so please don't assume I'm doing something wrong. Is that too much to ask?

I truly believe that if God planned some couples to not bear children, that he designed that plan according to His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Who knows - I could be one like one of those couples. Maybe even you could, too. I know there are many childless, Christian couples out there. I want to hear THOSE stories, too! I want to hear how God used them and how they were able to see how blessed they were and how their pain diminished! Even if I have 10 children one day, I want to know those stories, too!!!!!

Anyone else agree?


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