Things are becoming so exciting as we get closer and closer to the date of welcoming Evangeline into our world. This weekend's goal is to finally transform our master bedroom into a bedroom/ nursery. We are using our extra long weekend to rearrange everything. It's a tedious process, as some of you probably already know, but I can't wait! I know it will be worth it!
As exciting as this process is, it has also opened my eyes to a truth that's not so exciting. That's what I'm sharing today....it's not as giddy as most of my posts have been...but it is on my heart, and I feel it's important.
First of all, I have to explain that there are a few "moments" I have always DREAMED of having in my life. Big moments...and they're pretty commonly big for people in general. These moments include things like driving by myself, moving out of my parents' place, graduating, seeing my dad for the first time in my wedding dress, walking down the aisle at my wedding, finding out I'm pregnant,....and watching my husband put together a crib for our first baby. That last dream mentioned is real and has been real since I was a very little girl still playing with dolls. Yesterday, I got to witness that dream, and it really honestly and truly felt like a magical moment! I walked outside to find my husband sanding down the used crib we bought in preparation of first priming it, then painting it (to match the current furniture), and then putting it back together.
To me, it was like a moment in a scene from a movie. There may have well been music playing in the background, for it felt like that to me! Such a pure, beautiful moment! Call me corny, but it was. I have waited (at least what seems like a long time) for this moment! Even after we found out we were pregnant and after we bought the crib, I was careful to get it ready. I wanted to be as sure as possible that we would have a baby to put in the crib before we even put it up. So we waited. Now finally, FINALLY, we could do that.
After I stood there, smiling and cherishing that moment, I took a picture and posted in on social media. I don't post a whole lot of pictures, but I figured it was ok for this one. I didn't think it was offensive or dramatic or stupid...I figured family and friends would actually appreciate seeing this moment with me. Much to my surprise, I received some comments that hurt my feelings...a lot. Basically, people thought it was a funny sight. How in the world could my husband be competent enough to "put together a crib?" was the general response I had. That hurt, because this big moment of mine wasn't cherished by all; it was actually scoffed at and mocked by others.
Anyway, fast forward to church this morning. The message was centered around the sanctity of life....especially in regards to unborn babies. I listened to the horrible statistics of how many babies were killed before even having a chance to be born. I've heard the numbers before, and I have always thought to myself, "Why are so many people so quick to kill someone who hasn't even had the chance to prove to the world that they can be amazing?!"
I thought of our Evangeline. Of course, she has been loved and cherished since the day she was conceived ...by us, at least. Her fate is very different from so many others in her position right now. However, she's going to be born into a very sinful and hateful world.
I thought about how shocked and hurt I was yesterday. I realized that there are a lot of people who won't even give her a chance to prove how amazing she is just because she's our daughter, and they think we're mean or judgmental or too religious or too conservative or incompetent or whatever! People misjudge, and she will be misjudged as well. There will be people who hate her for being an American, for not being Muslim, for being white, for being a girl....for all sorts of reasons! She will be judged wrongly in her lifetime, and for the first time this weekend, I've realized that I can't protect her from that fact.
This is the world she is being born into. A very dark, misjudging world.
I can't protect her from that fact, but I can guide her and teach her and prepare her for dealing with this world. My prayer this week for my little one is also a prayer for myself. I need to be forgiving so I can teach her to forgive. I need to be accepting of the fact that some people really don't like me or even respect me or think of me as competent, and I must do that so she'll learn to be accepting. Finally, I need to not dread over the evil of this world she's being born into, but instead make her world with us more loving and God honoring.
That's what's in my heart today. What about you?
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